would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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