He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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