She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
