Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize