i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
