Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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