angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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