Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
