Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
