Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
