I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
