HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
