Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
