kristin has been a bad kristin
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
