her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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