We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
