I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
