i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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