i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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