He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
well, you know. whores of a feather.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
