I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
