Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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