Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
