i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
