Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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