Porn is love you can see.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
