he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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