he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize