last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize