I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
