I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just cropdusted the office
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i now understand why vodka
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
