you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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