If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
