no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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