If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
