I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
