I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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