nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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