So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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