i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
