Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's just like the Real World with babies
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
