I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
