Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
