Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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