we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
