i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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