and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
