he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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