Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
