i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
