just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
