she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
