Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
