So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
There's even glitter on my cock...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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