I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am midnight drunk by noon
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
