Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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