I hate all girls vehemently.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
