everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
