He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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