i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
