ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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