drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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