Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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