PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
