i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize