i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
