apparently the secret to your success is patron
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
