just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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