P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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