i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
