Your tits are I can't wait for
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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