i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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