what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
