Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize